Month: November 2016

Prematurity and the NICU

Connecting With Other NICU Parents

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I never thought that I would be a NICU mom.

The first time I walked into the NICU, I was completely overwhelmed. There were life support machines everywhere, beeping and blinking, working hard to keep all of those tiny babies alive. Words could never express how my heart ached when I saw my tiny baby hooked up to all of that equipment. Several friends and family members looked on, offering their love and support, but they still couldn’t fully comprehend the depth of my pain.

When my son was born at 25 weeks, a few friends of mine who had experienced the NICU before me, began pouring into my life with words of encouragement and hope for the future. Their support was a tremendous source of comfort.

As our days in the NICU turned to weeks, then months, I became intentional about connecting with the other NICU moms who were journeying alongside me. In doing so, I discovered that there’s an instant, unspoken bond that forms between people who share a heartache; we find strength in each other.

If you’re a new NICU parent, I want to encourage you to connect with others around you. One day, you might discover that you’ve introduced yourself to a new lifelong friend.

Here are four steps I took to connect with other preemie parents.

1)  I found places to interact:

  • I talked with other parents in my baby’s POD, a.k.a. his roommates’ parents.
  • I spoke to other moms in the pump room.
  • I connected with other parents in the parent lounge.
  • I introduced myself to other parents in the pump parts wash station.
  • I attended the parent support group meetings when I could.

Note: The rooms in your NICU might differ from mine, but it’s important that you find a time and/or place to connect.

2)  I always started the conversation with a smile before asking whether they had a little boy or a little girl. After they responded, I would share that I had a little boy, what his name was, when he was born, how early he was, and/or how far we were into our NICU journey. Sometimes the conversation continued, sometimes it didn’t, and that was okay too. No matter the outcome, it always resulted in another friendly face in the hallways.

3)  I kept the conversations positive, offering empathy and words of encouragement to the parents that I connected with. I also made sure to remember their babies’ names and stories so that I could ask them how things were going the next time we met.

4)  I joined online preemie parent support groups, including one for my local area. There were many parents in the group whose children had grown and they offered invaluable insight and support.

By reaching out to other NICU parents, I discovered a beautiful community. I am so thankful for each and every friend I’ve made; they will always have a special place in my heart.

Love and Blessings,

Elise

The post, Connecting with Other NICU Parents, first appeared on Boys and Blessings.

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Encouragement

Six Months Later

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The landscape of my home was forever changed six months ago.

Since then, I’ve made several attempts to share what’s been on my heart. Each and every time I’ve been left with a blank computer screen, unable to express the storm raging within my soul. There may never come a day when I have the right words to say—watching loved ones suffer tremendous loss and seeing the destruction first-hand is indescribable. I still have moments when it’s tempting to dwell on the hurt, anger, and fear caused by the fire. However, I know that doing so would only cause further pain. Instead, I’ve been choosing to shift my focus to the many blessings that have (and are still to) come out of this situation.

In the past few months we have seen love pour out for our city from coast to coast. The compassion and generosity that’s been shown to our community has warmed my heart. From the people who drove up the highway with gas for stranded evacuees, to the record-breaking Red Cross donations, to the truckload of Christmas decorations that was sent up for those who lost their homes, the blessings keep pouring in. Thank you, Canada!

I have also seen my city unite like never before: a beautiful, resilient strength has arisen within the citizens of Fort McMurray. Tragedy tends to have a way of bringing people together and I imagine that May 3, 2016, will always be a shared, unspoken bond between us.

As we work together to rebuild, there may be days when we feel as though it’s hopeless, as though there is no end in sight.

When those days come, let these truths encourage your heart:

It will get better
You can do this
Just keep going
Cry if you have to
Accept help when you need it
And, most of all, hold onto your hope.

Like all of the chapters in life, this one too will come to an end.  And, rest assured, we will all be stronger for coming through it together, both as individuals and as a community.

Love and blessings,

Elise

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Prematurity and the NICU

What It’s Like to Wait to Bring Your Baby Home

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The birth of our preemie was nothing like my previous birth experiences.

My hospital room was dark and quiet. The sounds of a baby crying echoed throughout the unit, reminding me of what I was missing. Less than two years earlier, I had delivered my second baby and was staying in the executive suite across the hall with my husband. Our stay had been filled with visitors, gifts, quality family time and midnight nursing sessions.

Things were completely different this time; my empty arms ached for those late-night newborn snuggles and the sounds of a content baby had been replaced with the quiet, steady rhythm of a whirring pump. A tear rolled down my cheek as I gently touched my swollen, empty belly. I needed to see him again. As I prepared to head back up to the NICU, my body seemed to protest each movement, reminding me that the labour and delivery had been especially rough this time around.

When I stepped out of the room, a young couple breezed down the hallway toward me with their newborn in a car seat. They were glowing with pride and I couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy as they walked by.

Up in the NICU, I slowly pulled back the cover on the isolette and took in my baby’s small frame. Weighing in at just under 2 pounds and at only 13 inches long, he was the tiniest person I had ever seen. With the nurse’s help, I pulled up a chair next to him, gently placed my hands on his head and feet and whispered, “Mommy’s here.”

Five days later, I was discharged. As we drove away from the hospital, I kept glancing at the empty backseat behind me, knowing it would be the first of many nights when I’d have to leave without my baby.

We never expected something like this to happen to us, but then again, no one ever does. Through all of it, our hope and our faith in God were what drove us, what spurred us on even in our darkest moments.

Our son spent a challenging 123 days in the NICU before he came home. On that day, my heart swelled with pride as we walked out of the unit, together—our little miracle, our little fighter was finally coming home. That moment made every prayer, every tear, every minute spent in the hospital worth it. There was a sense of relief, of victory and an unspeakable joy in knowing that our family would, at last, be complete.

I share my story to help raise awareness about prematurity. Thank you for being part of the conversation.

Blessings,

Elise

 

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