Motherhood & Parenting

Bite-Sized Reads, Motherhood & Parenting

The Best Moms Take Care of Themselves, Too


Lately, I’ve been battling bedtime. When the kids go to bed, I find I’m torn between three choices: clean house, go to bed myself or take some time to do something for me (before the baby wakes up, again).

The other day I had a conversation with someone who asked what I do for me, how I relax and unwind. To be honest, I’m rarely ever intentional about taking time for me. Usually, I just sneak in a Facebook post or work on the blog, but that’s still not something I’ve managed to do regularly–there’s nothing I’m purposefully doing daily to quiet my mind and renew my soul.
As such, there are times when I feel as though there’s not much left to give, like I’m squeezing out the last drops of my strength for my children. The reality is that, unless I take time to care for myself too, I’m probably running on empty.

In order to be the best mom I can be, I have to remember to take care of me.

I know, it can feel hard to take care of yourself. After all, no matter how many kids they have, moms give 100% of themselves all day long, so who has the time? The truth is that I think we tend to make “me time” harder than it needs to be. It can be something as simple as making a cup of tea and reading a magazine article while the kids nap or watch TV.

No matter whether you stay at home, go to work, or work from home, I would encourage you to join with me and start being intentional about finding some time to care for yourself each day. I believe doing so will make a difference both in how we feel and in the way we relate to our kids.

Me? Well, I’m planning to make some time to colour (in my adult colouring book, for the first time) alongside my kids.

Blessings,

Elise

The post, “The Best Moms Take Care of Themselves, Too” first appeared on my Facebook Page on February 12, 2016

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Bite-Sized Reads, Motherhood & Parenting

It’s All About Perspective

It was late, and I was tired after a long, busy day with three active little boys. As I stared at the massive pile of kids’ laundry on my bed, the last thing I wanted to do was fold it. Just as I started to grumble under my breath, a thought stopped me short.

I remembered that just over a year ago I was in the hospital on bed rest. During that time I would have given anything to be at home with my boys, even if it meant doing laundry–something I was physically unable to do… at the time.

Then, I reflected on Rydon’s NICU stay. There were days when I often wondered if I would ever be able to wash and use my baby clothes again…

And with those thoughts, all of my feelings of irritation vanished. In that moment I stopped and thanked God for three beautiful, healthy children to do laundry fo,r and I was grateful that I’m once again able to do their laundry.

Now I’m finding new things to be thankful for every day…

It’s all about perspective, friends.

Blessings,

Elise

The post, “It’s All About Perspective” first appeared on my Facebook Page on January 19, 2016.

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Motherhood & Parenting

An Atypical Waiting Room Conversation

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It wasn’t a typical conversation starter, but it broke the ice in the waiting room.

A deep rumble sounded from the chair beneath one of my sons. As if it wasn’t loud enough, he also made a proud announcement to everyone within hearing range. While all of the other parents around me tried to stifle their giggles, I decided to face the situation head-on as there was no hiding what had just happened. Feeling my cheeks burn, I chuckled and said, “Well, I guess that’s what you get with boys.”

And, just like that, we all began to talk.

After brief introductions of ourselves and our children, we discussed how our lives had changed after having kids. Soon, one woman asked me what life was like with three little ones at home. She added that she was genuinely curious because they were considering having a third child, but hadn’t fully decided if it was the right choice for their family. I could tell that she was hoping for an honest answer, so I decided to share both the joys and the “growing pains” that come with another child by opening up about some of the new challenges I faced. After hearing about some of the adjustment issues I had, another woman spoke up and shared that she had dealt with some similar situations after her youngest was born. She said that she appreciated my honesty because “It’s nice to know that you’re not alone.”

Although it was short-lived, that was one of the best conversations I’ve had in awhile. It wasn’t what we talked about that made it good, but rather how we talked. We were open and honest with one another—we were REAL.

I don’t know how or when it became the norm to pretend like we have it all together. But the truth is, all that it takes to connect with someone is a little honesty and two simple words, “Me, too.”

My hope is that we could all be brave enough share about our struggles as moms—you never know when you might meet someone who feels the same way as you.

Blessings,

Elise

I love hearing from you, please feel free to leave me a comment below or to connect with me on social media.

The post “An Atypical Waiting Room Conversation” first appeared on Boys and Blessings.

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Motherhood & Parenting

Two Words We All Need to Hear

Has there ever been a time when you were caught off-guard because someone said something to you that spoke directly to your heart, and yet, you didn’t even know how much you needed to hear their words?

I had that experience this past week.

Several other moms and I gathered to listen to a seasoned mother speak about her experiences as she raised her (now grown) children. She shared that although motherhood is beautiful and rewarding, it is still SO hard. There are moments when we feel helpless, hopeless, overwhelmed, uncertain, lonely, and inadequate, amongst other things. We believe that no one could ever understand what we’re going through, so we carry on hiding our feelings and trying our best to keep it all together.

As she continued talking, I felt as though she was looking through a window directly into my weary soul. I could hardly believe that, thirty years ago, this seasoned mom struggled with some of the same “heart issues” that I’m facing today. Then she said two simple words that released all of the feelings I had been suppressing, “Me, too.” And as the burden on my heart lifted, the tears that had been welling up in my eyes began to overflow, cascading down my cheeks.

I cannot tell you how desperate I was to hear someone say those two words, to know that I wasn’t alone.

When I slowly lifted my gaze and glanced around the room, I was met with looks from other teary-eyed women who, like me, also needed to know that they aren’t alone.

And so, I’m sharing the same words with you today…

  • Does motherhood make you feel lonely sometimes? Me, too.
  • Do you ever feel like you’re not a good enough mom/wife? Me, too.
  • Have you ever felt like you had to hide something because you were worried about what others would think of you? Me, too.
  • Have you ever been in a situation where you felt hopeless, like there was no way out? Me, too.
  • Have there been times when you wish that your life looked different? Me, too.
  • Do you regret some of the choices you’ve made? Me, too.
  • Have you ever felt like no one could ever understand how you feel? Me, too.

Whatever you’re facing today, please be reassured that you are NOT alone; everybody struggles, but not everybody shares. Nobody has it all together. There is no such thing as a “perfect” mom or wife. All we can do is give our best, each and every day, no matter what that looks like.

We can also find hope in knowing that others before us have overcome some of the same challenges we’re facing today.

How did that seasoned mom get through it all? She was intentional about developing relationships with other moms and she found a close community of women to “do life” with. They were honest about their struggles, they encouraged each other and lifted one another up in prayer. And, most of all, she leaned on her faith in God.

“For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13 (NLT)

Do you believe we can make it though, together?  Me, too.

Blessings,

Elise

I love hearing from you. Please feel free to leave a comment below, or to connect with me on Facebook.

The post, Two Words, first appeared on the blog, Boys and Blessings.

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Motherhood & Parenting

Dear Mommy-to-Be

Dear Mommy-to-Be,

I know the positive pregnancy test that you hold in your hands feels heavy; it’s weighted down by all of the changes coming your way. It’s okay to feel excited and a little terrified because there is so much that’s unknown. Sweet Mama, let me encourage your heart today as you head down the winding road of motherhood.

Please don’t worry about everything with your pregnancy. While there are many things that we can be cautious of, there is still so much beyond our control. Just soak up this time with your precious baby. Enjoy every kick and each flutter of movement your child makes. Talk to your little one, sing often and play with the tiny fingers and toes that push out of your belly.

Your precious child is more aware of your presence than you can imagine and will come into the world knowing your voice. Mothers have a beautiful bond with their babies and yours will be no different.

It doesn’t really matter whether you have a boy or a girl. And, even if your child isn’t of perfect health, it won’t matter either. See, boy or girl, healthy or sick, you are going to love your little one with a love that is deeper and fuller than anything you have ever known. This love will give your heart a glimpse of the unconditional love that your Heavenly Father has for you.

When the time comes to meet your baby and your birth plan goes awry, don’t be discouraged. These things are unpredictable. Your friends’ births may have gone differently, but their story is not your story.

Be gentle with your children’s hearts. You are the love of their lives and everything you say and do will impact them more than you realize.

One day your child may speak harshly to you, in a tone that you have previously used. When that happens, it will be a painful indicator of a change you need to make and you’ll finally understand just how closely you are being watched.

Patience doesn’t come easy and praying for more may not be the answer you hope for. I’ve learned that God doesn’t just grant us patience, he teaches us to be patient. When you pray for patience, be prepared to experience even more growth opportunities.

In spite of all of the mistakes that you will make, don’t be hard on yourself. You must learn to love yourself, including all of the ugly parts, before you can fully accept your children as they are. (Chances are that your deepest struggles with your children will be because you see your own flaws reflected in them. Learn to accept those parts of you, work on improving them, and you may just see a positive change in your relationship with your kids.)

Always do the best you can; it’s the most anyone can ask for. And on those days when you make a wrong choice, ask for forgiveness. This will teach your children that everyone makes mistakes, but that things must be made right afterwards.

Be real with your kids: laugh with them, cry with them and experience life together.

Pray for your children daily. Pray for their health, their safety, their strength, their future spouses and anything else you can think of. Never underestimate the power of a praying parent.

Record your precious memories, whether it be by photos or a journal. Just don’t spend so much time documenting them that you forget to truly live in those moments.

No matter what happens, in times of joy and sorrow, remember that God is in control. Sweet Mama, keep that truth close to your heart on this journey, trust Him always and I promise that you will be just fine.

Blessings,

Elise

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Psalm 139:13-16 (NIV)

I love hearing from you! Feel free to leave a comment or connect with me on Facebook.

Photo credit: Leah Rae Photography

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