To the Woman Who is Struggling to Love Her Body,

I saw you today.

I couldn’t help but notice how your eyes darted away from the mirror when you caught a glimpse of your reflection. My heart went out to you as your beautiful smile faded, replaced by a solemn look.

I may not know your story, but I’m certain that something has brought you to this point. Somewhere along the way a beautiful daughter was deeply wounded, left with an aching scar on her soul.

Perhaps you were hurt years ago by those kids in gym class, the ones who poked fun at you and chose you last because sports just didn’t come as naturally to you.

Maybe it began in your teens–you felt that the other girls were “prettier” than you: their skin was flawless, their hair and makeup perfect and their fashionable clothes hugged them in all of the right places. Then ever so slowly, you began to wish you were a little more of this and a little less of that.

Maybe you were happy with your body when you were younger, but after being blessed by motherhood, you hardly recognize your reflection. Your stomach, once flat and toned, is now a blubbery mess of stretch marks and saggy skin and you’re still fighting (unsuccessfully) to lose the “baby weight.” When you look around, you find that you often compare yourself to the other moms whose beauty is still radiant, and you’re secretly envious of them.

Your struggle to embrace your body might stem from something much deeper, much more intimate than simply body image: fertility issues and/or pregnancy complications. Whether you’ve battled infertility, miscarriage, pregnancy loss, infant loss, stillbirth or premature birth, this private pain haunts you every time you look in the mirror. One glance at your reflection sends you reeling and you cannot help but wonder why your body has failed you, why it just couldn’t do what it’s supposed to.

No matter the reason, please know that you’re not alone—I have experienced every single one of these heartaches, too. And, there are women everywhere, just like us, who feel the exact same way.

Sometimes we forget that we are our own worst critics; I’m meaner to myself than I would ever dare to be to anyone else.

I remember one particular day, when I was 20 years old, I just couldn’t tear my eyes away from the mirror. I stood there, slowly taking it all in: my make-up was flawless, my hair perfectly styled with a sparkling tiara on top, the white dress clung to me in all of the right places…and I still wasn’t satisfied. On the day that was supposed to be the happiest day of my life, when I was supposed to be “glowing” and “beautiful,” I chastised my reflection in the mirror. Now, when I look back at photos and reflect on that moment, I cannot understand what made me feel like an unattractive bride. Ten years have passed since then and, in that time, I’ve come to learn an important truth: “True beauty comes from within.”

It sounds cliché, I know, but it is the truth. It’s not what you are that makes you beautiful, but rather who you are. Our bodies are changing with each passing day, the beauty of our youth slowly fading as they do. There is something remarkable about this though; if it didn’t happen, we might miss out on knowing that outward beauty is not a true reflection of beauty.

Take a moment to think about the women in your life whom you hold dear. When these women come to my mind, beauty and age are not a factor in my love for them. I see what no mirror could ever capture: that their hearts are full of love, their smiles are illuminated by joy and their eyes twinkle with kindness.

I’m now working towards viewing myself in the same way that I see these women and on remembering that there’s so much more to me than just my appearance: I’m a wife, a mother, a sister, a friend, a cousin, a daughter, and (most importantly) a daughter of The Most-High King. The truth is, who I am has more significance than how I look.

When we begin to view ourselves through the eyes of The Heavenly Father and those who love us, our perspective changes. Doing so has taught me that you can learn to embrace your body when you first choose to love the soul inside of it.

As for you, I love you just the way you are.

Blessings,

Elise

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