Encouragement

To the Woman Who is Struggling to Love Her Body,

I saw you today.

I couldn’t help but notice how your eyes darted away from the mirror when you caught a glimpse of your reflection. My heart went out to you as your beautiful smile faded, replaced by a solemn look.

I may not know your story, but I’m certain that something has brought you to this point. Somewhere along the way a beautiful daughter was deeply wounded, left with an aching scar on her soul.

Perhaps you were hurt years ago by those kids in gym class, the ones who poked fun at you and chose you last because sports just didn’t come as naturally to you.

Maybe it began in your teens–you felt that the other girls were “prettier” than you: their skin was flawless, their hair and makeup perfect and their fashionable clothes hugged them in all of the right places. Then ever so slowly, you began to wish you were a little more of this and a little less of that.

Maybe you were happy with your body when you were younger, but after being blessed by motherhood, you hardly recognize your reflection. Your stomach, once flat and toned, is now a blubbery mess of stretch marks and saggy skin and you’re still fighting (unsuccessfully) to lose the “baby weight.” When you look around, you find that you often compare yourself to the other moms whose beauty is still radiant, and you’re secretly envious of them.

Your struggle to embrace your body might stem from something much deeper, much more intimate than simply body image: fertility issues and/or pregnancy complications. Whether you’ve battled infertility, miscarriage, pregnancy loss, infant loss, stillbirth or premature birth, this private pain haunts you every time you look in the mirror. One glance at your reflection sends you reeling and you cannot help but wonder why your body has failed you, why it just couldn’t do what it’s supposed to.

No matter the reason, please know that you’re not alone—I have experienced every single one of these heartaches, too. And, there are women everywhere, just like us, who feel the exact same way.

Sometimes we forget that we are our own worst critics; I’m meaner to myself than I would ever dare to be to anyone else.

I remember one particular day, when I was 20 years old, I just couldn’t tear my eyes away from the mirror. I stood there, slowly taking it all in: my make-up was flawless, my hair perfectly styled with a sparkling tiara on top, the white dress clung to me in all of the right places…and I still wasn’t satisfied. On the day that was supposed to be the happiest day of my life, when I was supposed to be “glowing” and “beautiful,” I chastised my reflection in the mirror. Now, when I look back at photos and reflect on that moment, I cannot understand what made me feel like an unattractive bride. Ten years have passed since then and, in that time, I’ve come to learn an important truth: “True beauty comes from within.”

It sounds cliché, I know, but it is the truth. It’s not what you are that makes you beautiful, but rather who you are. Our bodies are changing with each passing day, the beauty of our youth slowly fading as they do. There is something remarkable about this though; if it didn’t happen, we might miss out on knowing that outward beauty is not a true reflection of beauty.

Take a moment to think about the women in your life whom you hold dear. When these women come to my mind, beauty and age are not a factor in my love for them. I see what no mirror could ever capture: that their hearts are full of love, their smiles are illuminated by joy and their eyes twinkle with kindness.

I’m now working towards viewing myself in the same way that I see these women and on remembering that there’s so much more to me than just my appearance: I’m a wife, a mother, a sister, a friend, a cousin, a daughter, and (most importantly) a daughter of The Most-High King. The truth is, who I am has more significance than how I look.

When we begin to view ourselves through the eyes of The Heavenly Father and those who love us, our perspective changes. Doing so has taught me that you can learn to embrace your body when you first choose to love the soul inside of it.

As for you, I love you just the way you are.

Blessings,

Elise

I love hearing from you. Please feel free to leave me a comment below, or to connect with me on Facebook.

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Devotions, Faith

The Way to Find Peace

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“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)

A mother always remembers the first time she sees her baby. All of my children are precious, but the day I met my youngest will forever pull on my heartstrings. I had to be wheeled up to the NICU to see him because he entered this world much too soon. As I sat by his isolette, marvelling at how tiny and perfect he was, his nurse gently placed her hand on my shoulder and whispered, “They say that having your baby in the NICU is like riding an emotional rollercoaster, full of highs and lows. Be prepared for good days and bad days. He has a long road ahead of him.”

Our first low arrived late one night when the hospital’s phone number illuminated our call display. My hands trembled as I answered the phone. I listened intently while the doctor explained that they were going to run some tests because they were concerned about my tiny baby. He promised to call us back as soon as they knew more, then said a hasty goodbye.

Several minutes passed. A knot formed in my stomach as worry clouded my heart. I stared at the phone and thought, Please ring! I don’t want to wait any longer! I want answers now!

Desperate and impatient, I turned to the internet for more information. However, my husband quickly interrupted my search by reminding me, “Elise, God’s got us this far. We don’t know what his plan is in all of this, but we know that he’s got this. Instead of searching the internet, let’s pray and look to Him.” Reluctantly, I closed my search. I knew that he was right, that the pesky knot in my stomach couldn’t be undone simply by learning more about my son’s condition. The only way I was going to find peace was to give my worries to God.

In 1 Peter 5:7 we are told, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” These are simple, specific instructions given to us by our Heavenly Father. In the same way that children share their fears and concerns with their parents, so are we to bring our problems to Him. And yet, just as I quickly turned to the internet for answers, sometimes we are reluctant to go to God first.

Maybe we hesitate because we need to feel like we’re in control of a situation. Or, perhaps we believe that our circumstances are too big, or too insignificant, to give to God. Regardless of our reasons, God is always there. He stands with outstretched arms, patiently waiting for us to surrender all of our burdens to Him.

We only need to remember that he is.

Blessings,

Elise

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Prematurity and the NICU

Our Biggest Miracle, So Far

One year ago, this past weekend, our lives were forever changed. Our little 25 week preemie, Roo, had only been in the NICU for 5 weeks. He had experienced his fair share of trials during that short time, but nothing could have prepared us for what was to come.

On the morning of February 19, 2015, I walked into the NICU and found that my baby’s health had severely deteriorated overnight. He was diagnosed with chronic lung disease, one lung had collapsed and his other lung was partially collapsed. The decision was made to put him on “the jet”, a last resort high frequency ventilation (breathing) machine that delivers hundreds of breaths per minute. They had to sedate him and give him a paralytic drug in order for the machine to do its work. At the same time, the doctor who was on came over to me and said, “Your baby is very sick…he probably won’t make it.”

As the doctor walked away, I crumpled into a sobbing mess, feeling shattered and helpless. Roo’s nurse did her best to try to pick up my broken pieces, but I could tell that she struggling to stay positive too.

My husband, who was a five hour drive away, found out the news through a text message. I would have called, but I couldn’t bring myself to echo the doctor’s devastating words aloud. Upon receiving my message, he found childcare for our other two children and came as quickly as he could.

Soon after my husband arrived at the NICU, Roo was also diagnosed with a severe case of NEC–a serious disease that affects babies’ intestines. NEC is detected and monitored with x-rays. Subsequent x-rays are done in order to examine the progression of the disease. Unfortunately for Roo, his follow-up x-rays indicated that his case was progressing rapidly, despite having been started on multiple broad spectrum antibiotics.

A surgeon was consulted and everyone on the medical team agreed that Roo desperately needed a life-saving surgery. Yet, he was too sick to be transported to the surgical unit at the children’s hospital across the river. He was then started on a series of drugs as all of the medical staff put their best efforts into stabilizing his vitals, hoping that he would soon be well enough to travel to the other hospital. And yet, nothing worked to improve his condition. If anything, all of the medication he was on only worsened his health; his kidneys suffered severe damage and he became unable to expel liquid waste from his body, even with the use of a catheter. (His intestines also appeared to have stopped working during this time.)

My husband and I stayed up all night with Roo, taking turns keeping watch over him, not wanting to leave him alone. In the morning we were physically and emotionally exhausted. He had only just barely made it through the night; his vital signs were still deteriorating despite all of the medical support. During morning rounds the medical team requested that we attend a meeting with them, to be held just after noon.

We called our parents in to join us for the meeting and we all sat down with the medical team to discuss Roo’s dire situation. Our family was presented with 3 options:

  1. We could keep doing what we were doing and see what happens. However, we were warned that waiting for him to stabilize wasn’t really the best option as the antibiotics that he was on would only serve to make the situation worse. The doctor said that as the bacteria in his bowels died off, they would give off gas, which would only further bloat his intestines and increase the chances of them being perforated.
  2. We could seek compassionate care. In doing this, we would have to admit that Roo was too sick to be saved. All life support would be removed and we would hold our baby as he left this world and entered the arms of Jesus.
  3. We could send him for the surgery that he so desperately needed. And yet, this wasn’t really an option because he was too sick for transport; he couldn’t be transported with the breathing machine that he was on and, even if he could be, he might not survive the journey or the surgery.

Basically they told us that they believed that whatever choices we made about Roo’s health didn’t matter–ultimately he wouldn’t survive.

We looked at the medical team and said, “These options aren’t really options; they all lead to the same outcome.” However, we went with option one because it offered the most hope. We were not going to give up on Roo, not after we had fought so hard for him already.

After the medical team left, my mom looked over at me and said, “They didn’t give us option four; we’re choosing option four. We have a mighty God who can heal Roo.”

In that moment we came together as a family, parents and grandparents, and prayed for Roo. We fervently prayed for his healing and that he would be saved. (At the same time, we also had many others praying for him.)

Two hours after our family’s prayer, his vital signs began to improve and they were able to begin weaning some of his medication.

The following afternoon, just 24 hours after our prayer, Roo completely stabilized: he was moved back onto a conventional breathing machine, his heart rate entered back into the “normal” range, his blood pressure continued to level out and the swelling in his abdomen was drastically reduced. At that time he was declared well enough to be transported to the children’s hospital. They loaded him into a “Stork” (a portable incubator complete with a breathing machine and monitor) and wheeled him into a waiting ambulance.

We met the surgeon soon after we arrived at the new hospital. Upon seeing Roo, the surgeon declared, “This isn’t the same baby I heard about yesterday…Roo is healing and is not a surgical patient at this time.” Hearing the surgeon’s words was like balm to our wounded souls; they brought us more hope and joy than we had felt in a long time.

Those who had witnessed how sick Roo had been could offer no explanation as to why he improved so quickly, but we knew…

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. (1 John 5:14 NIV)

The rest of his NICU stay wasn’t without trials, but God brought us through the worst of it that weekend.

On May 16, 2015, after 123 days in the NICU, Roo came home!

Everything thing we experienced that weekend, along with just having our baby in the NICU, really tested our faith; we seem to have this innate desire to be in control of everything. And yet, the Bible tells us to trust in the Lord:

Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal. (Isaiah 26:4 NIV)

Roo’s time home hasn’t been free of “bumps” or worries, but we’ve continued to trust that he and his brothers are in God’s hands; we’re doing our best to remember to cast our cares upon Him.

We serve an awesome God! What are you trusting Him with today?

Blessings,

Elise

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Encouragement

Why I Wouldn’t Change My Hardest Year

Another year is over and a new one has just begun. If you’re like me, you may find that this time of year seems to be the heaviest; it’s full of mixed emotions as we reflect upon the past twelve months.

Perhaps as you look back on the year, you realize that it was your best one yet. You may have celebrated an accomplishment, began a new chapter in your life, welcomed someone into your family, or had a wonderful life-changing experience.

However, there are those who feel sadness, regret and despair when they reflect upon the past year. Maybe that’s you. Maybe you were faced with circumstances beyond your control, you suffered a painful loss, or perhaps you just wish that some of your choices were different. Whatever the case, know that you are not alone.

Personally, I found this New Year’s celebration to be incredibly difficult as I thought about what 2015 looked like for me. In hindsight, the year didn’t start out all that well, almost as if it were foreshadowing what was to come.

On New Year’s Eve, 2014, I found myself suffering from a pregnancy complication and strapped to a gurney in an air ambulance as I was transferred to a hospital 500km away. My husband couldn’t fly with me, so he left our kids with a caregiver and drove nearly five hours to meet me–just so that we could be together to welcome 2015 in my new hospital room. As the clock struck midnight, a wave of relief washed over me. I was extremely grateful to leave 2014 behind as it was bittersweet: full of both joy and sorrow. And although I looked forward to 2015 with optimism, nothing could have prepared me for what it would bring.

Less than two weeks after ringing in the New Year, our baby boy was born at just 25 weeks gestation, weighing under 2 pounds. My world crumbled when I realized I was in labour–to say it was terrifying would be an understatement. No one ever expects to find themselves in such a situation, but there we were, thrust into the world of being NICU parents to a micro preemie.

We were told that the NICU was like rollercoaster ride, full of ups and downs. However, I disagree. I would say it’s actually more like living out an awful television drama, full of unexpected plot twists, miracles, indescribable heartache and unspeakable joy. We would have to endure this drama for four long months. During this time, our sweet baby suffered through more pain and faced more trials than most people experience in a lifetime, and we were helpless to stop it. All we could do was stand by his side and pray.

Our worst day dawned about a month after our son was born. I walked into the NICU and found that his breathing had severely deteriorated overnight. His lungs were failing him and, on top of that, he had contracted an illness so severe that the doctors advised discontinuing life support; they were convinced that any further treatment was futile. No words can describe what it’s like to be given news like that. In that moment, his life was the only thing in the world that mattered. We came together as a family and prayed more fervently for him more than ever before. By God’s grace, and to the amazement of the doctors, our son made a full recovery, only requiring surgery (a month later) to remove some scar tissue that had formed when he’d healed.

While all this NICU drama was unfolding, my husband had to return to work. For months we lived in different cities, separated by a long drive. He came down on weekends and I was left to split my time between taking care of our two older kids and visiting our baby in the NICU when our other children were at a babysitter’s.

I can tell you that those were some of the darkest days of my life: my stomach was twisted into a permanent knot, my chest felt tight–like I couldn’t breathe–and there were several nights where I found myself crying (what felt like) every tear I had. All I wanted was to be a family again, to have everyone healthy and together under one roof.

And so, after 123 days, my wish came true; our baby finally came home. However, having him home wasn’t quite like what we had expected–we found that though we had left the NICU, it never really left us. You cannot come out of a situation like that unchanged. The rest of the year was spent in countless doctors appointments and taking whatever precautions we could to ensure our baby remained healthy, so as to avoid another hospital stay. It was completely unlike when we’d brought our other (full-term) babies home from the hospital.

And yet, as I relived some of my most painful moments, I realized that I wouldn’t change anything. It may sound strange, but we experienced beauty in the midst of our circumstances. Because of our trials, we had the opportunity to meet and develop relationships with so many incredible people, several of whom will forever be dear to our hearts: medical professionals, friends, family, strangers, other NICU families, etc.

Our marriage also looks different now than it did a year ago. Going through a complex pregnancy and the NICU together showed us the true meaning of “for better or for worse”–it became more than just a nice cliché. At a time when many relationships falter, ours thrived because we chose to unite and press on together. In doing so, we learned things we never knew about ourselves, each other and our faith. As such, we came out stronger than ever before.

On a personal level, I have been completely transformed by this past year: my faith is deeper, my relationships richer and my empathy greater.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4 (NIV)

If this past year was hard for you, I would encourage you to look back at how it has shaped you, how you have grown and what you have learned. Consider what you can take away from your experiences, focus on what you can look forward to in the new year and how you can make the best of it.

Despite everything that has happened, I am choosing to face this year with the same optimism that I held for last year. I know it won’t be without its own trials and hardships, but I’m trusting that we’ll be able to enjoy more family time and I plan on soaking up all of the little moments that often get taken for granted.

Blessings,

Elise

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 (NIV)

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Motherhood & Parenting

Dear Mommy-to-Be

Dear Mommy-to-Be,

I know the positive pregnancy test that you hold in your hands feels heavy; it’s weighted down by all of the changes coming your way. It’s okay to feel excited and a little terrified because there is so much that’s unknown. Sweet Mama, let me encourage your heart today as you head down the winding road of motherhood.

Please don’t worry about everything with your pregnancy. While there are many things that we can be cautious of, there is still so much beyond our control. Just soak up this time with your precious baby. Enjoy every kick and each flutter of movement your child makes. Talk to your little one, sing often and play with the tiny fingers and toes that push out of your belly.

Your precious child is more aware of your presence than you can imagine and will come into the world knowing your voice. Mothers have a beautiful bond with their babies and yours will be no different.

It doesn’t really matter whether you have a boy or a girl. And, even if your child isn’t of perfect health, it won’t matter either. See, boy or girl, healthy or sick, you are going to love your little one with a love that is deeper and fuller than anything you have ever known. This love will give your heart a glimpse of the unconditional love that your Heavenly Father has for you.

When the time comes to meet your baby and your birth plan goes awry, don’t be discouraged. These things are unpredictable. Your friends’ births may have gone differently, but their story is not your story.

Be gentle with your children’s hearts. You are the love of their lives and everything you say and do will impact them more than you realize.

One day your child may speak harshly to you, in a tone that you have previously used. When that happens, it will be a painful indicator of a change you need to make and you’ll finally understand just how closely you are being watched.

Patience doesn’t come easy and praying for more may not be the answer you hope for. I’ve learned that God doesn’t just grant us patience, he teaches us to be patient. When you pray for patience, be prepared to experience even more growth opportunities.

In spite of all of the mistakes that you will make, don’t be hard on yourself. You must learn to love yourself, including all of the ugly parts, before you can fully accept your children as they are. (Chances are that your deepest struggles with your children will be because you see your own flaws reflected in them. Learn to accept those parts of you, work on improving them, and you may just see a positive change in your relationship with your kids.)

Always do the best you can; it’s the most anyone can ask for. And on those days when you make a wrong choice, ask for forgiveness. This will teach your children that everyone makes mistakes, but that things must be made right afterwards.

Be real with your kids: laugh with them, cry with them and experience life together.

Pray for your children daily. Pray for their health, their safety, their strength, their future spouses and anything else you can think of. Never underestimate the power of a praying parent.

Record your precious memories, whether it be by photos or a journal. Just don’t spend so much time documenting them that you forget to truly live in those moments.

No matter what happens, in times of joy and sorrow, remember that God is in control. Sweet Mama, keep that truth close to your heart on this journey, trust Him always and I promise that you will be just fine.

Blessings,

Elise

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Psalm 139:13-16 (NIV)

I love hearing from you! Feel free to leave a comment or connect with me on Facebook.

Photo credit: Leah Rae Photography

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Encouragement

When the Holidays Hurt

“This isn’t what Christmas should look like!” The thought resonated through my mind as I took in the cold, white, barren room. The only hints of colour present were the pale yellow curtain next to the bed and my faded, blue hospital blanket. Shivering, I pulled the blanket closer and looked out the window. “At least there are Christmas lights in the distance,” I thought.

Oh, how I longed for the warm glow of the Christmas tree in the evenings. How my heart ached to hear my children’s squeals of delight as they counted down the days to Christmas. How I wished that I could feel my husband’s warmth when the nights grew cold.

Instead, I was stuck on bed rest in the hospital with a severe pregnancy complication. While others were crafting their Christmas lists, I wanted only one thing–for my baby to survive.

A tear fell as the reality hit hard; I was spending Christmas in the hospital this year. When everyone was gathering with their families, I was missing mine. I wished I could skip Christmas altogether.

And yet, in the midst of my sorrow, there was a tiny flicker in my heart–hope. Hope that my situation would improve, hope my Christmas could still be “merry” and hope that we would be celebrating our baby’s first Christmas the following year.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13 (NIV)

Ever so slowly, that hope blossomed, and I realized that I can choose to let my circumstances get the best of me, or I can make the best of them.

This attitude shift allowed me to count my blessings instead of focusing on my losses. I reflected upon the kindness shown to me by friends and strangers alike, and I was truly grateful for my family, who did their best to give me a merry Christmas. Most of all, I was thankful that my baby continued to be healthy and strong. My Christmas may not have been ideal, but God gave me the strength to get through it with a positive outlook.

Perhaps you can relate. Maybe Christmas looks different for you this year because you are coping with your own sorrow. Let me encourage you; you aren’t alone. There are many people who are hurting alongside you, who wish that their circumstances were different. And while we may not be able to change what’s happening around us, we always have hope. We can hope for a brighter future, and we can hope that our stories will touch the lives of those around us.

Dear friend, I am praying for you today. I am praying for peace in the midst of your trials and for the strength to face this holiday season and all of the days ahead.

Blessings,

Elise

“…but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Romans 5:3-4. (NIV)

I love hearing from you!  Please feel free to leave a comment or connect with me on Facebook.

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Prematurity and the NICU

What I Wish to Share with All New NICU Moms

I wrote this letter after four months in the NICU, shortly before my 25 weeker came home. While we were on the unit, I saw countless moms walk in to see their babies for the first time.  More than anything, I wanted to talk to them and offer some words of encouragement.  Instead I remained silent, whispering a quiet prayer for their precious children, because I knew how painful those first few moments felt.

These are the words that desperately I wish I could share with all of the new NICU moms.

Dear New NICU Mom,

I saw you as you came in to see your precious baby today. I noticed the look in your eyes as you glanced around the room, a look that quietly expressed a loaded one-word question, “Why?”

I watched you take everything in: tubes, monitors, machines, the constant beeping, all of the equipment working together to help your baby survive. It’s overwhelming, I know, but you will soon make sense of it all.

I’m certain that you’re wondering how you’re going to get through this. Trust me, you will find a way. We moms are more resilient than we realize.

I was where you are not too long ago, and yet, it feels like an eternity. I understand that you’re concerned about what the future holds and, if you’ll let me, I’d like to share some thoughts to help you along this difficult road.

1) Believe in yourself. Believe that you can do this. Believe that you are the most important person in your baby’s life and that you can have a profound impact on your child’s journey.

2) Keep your hope alive. Your baby is a fighter. You will be amazed by the challenges that your mighty preemie will overcome.

3) Get to know the NICU. Find out where things are and learn the lingo for the equipment, tests, protocol and processes. Doing so will make it easier to navigate the NICU and will also help you to better understand what is discussed on rounds.

4) Be consistently involved and keep learning. Attend rounds. Learn all that you can about your baby as well as any conditions that he/she has or may be at risk for. Find out whether any preventive measures can be taken and learn about any symptoms you should watch for. You are the only constant in your baby’s life and will likely be the first person to notice if something is amiss.

5) Be your child’s advocate. Remember that medical professionals are people too. They are there to serve you and your baby and have your child’s best interests at heart, but sometimes mistakes happen. Speak up when you think something isn’t right. Make your wishes known and explain why.

6) Ask questions about everything. Ask as many people as you like and don’t be afraid to ask for a second opinion; someone else may be able to offer an alternative treatment or provide new insight into a situation.

7) You are not alone. Don’t be afraid to connect with other NICU parents. They will be one of your greatest resources and can provide you with hope and support since they understand what you are going through better than anyone else does.

8) Drop the guilt. It’s not your fault. You did nothing wrong. You are here fighting for your baby because you love your child and that’s enough; you are already a great mom just because you care.

9) This is the hardest one: take time for yourself. Read a book, watch a show, go grab a coffee, eat a good meal, talk to a friend, take a nap, etcetera. Your baby needs you at your best. You can’t be at the beside 24/7, so make sure to rest and rejuvenate in order to stay healthy and be fully present for your baby.

10) Remember that even though the days are long, all journeys must come to an end. Although it will always be a part of your life’s story, one day the NICU chapter will come to a close.

With love,

Another NICU Mom

This post was originally shared as one of my personal Facebook status updates and it first appeared on the blog, Boys and Blessings.

I love hearing from you! Leave a comment below or connect with me on Facebook.

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Prematurity and the NICU

Due Date: An Open Letter to My Preemie

April 27, 2015

Dear Sweet Baby,

Today is your due date. There are so many mixed emotions surrounding this day. We are incredibly thankful for you and your life and we celebrate this huge milestone alongside you. However, at the same our hearts are heavy because of the suffering you have had to endure and the many challenges that you still face. During the time when you should have been tucked away in my belly, safe and warm, you have been fighting for your life. I wish things were different today, but unfortunately my body failed both of us and nothing went according to plan. Yet, you never cease to amaze us as you continue to persevere.

Despite everything that has happened, we are blessed. Through all of this, we have experienced the kindness and generosity of family, friends and strangers alike. There are so many wonderful people who genuinely care about you. They have walked alongside us and supported our family in a variety of ways; everything from prayer support, to making meals, to watching your brothers, to the medical team caring for you.

By God’s grace, we have also experienced so many incredible miracles with you. Never forget that your life is a miracle. Baby, you are our miracle. We are better because of the trials we have faced together; our faith is stronger and our family relationships are closer.

While the circumstances surrounding your birth and your fight for your life in the NICU has been the source of our greatest pain, you have been the source of our greatest joy. We love you, Baby, and are so blessed that God has chosen us to be your parents. We cannot wait to bring you home!

All my love,

Mommy
Xoxo

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