life

Motherhood & Parenting

An Atypical Waiting Room Conversation

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It wasn’t a typical conversation starter, but it broke the ice in the waiting room.

A deep rumble sounded from the chair beneath one of my sons. As if it wasn’t loud enough, he also made a proud announcement to everyone within hearing range. While all of the other parents around me tried to stifle their giggles, I decided to face the situation head-on as there was no hiding what had just happened. Feeling my cheeks burn, I chuckled and said, “Well, I guess that’s what you get with boys.”

And, just like that, we all began to talk.

After brief introductions of ourselves and our children, we discussed how our lives had changed after having kids. Soon, one woman asked me what life was like with three little ones at home. She added that she was genuinely curious because they were considering having a third child, but hadn’t fully decided if it was the right choice for their family. I could tell that she was hoping for an honest answer, so I decided to share both the joys and the “growing pains” that come with another child by opening up about some of the new challenges I faced. After hearing about some of the adjustment issues I had, another woman spoke up and shared that she had dealt with some similar situations after her youngest was born. She said that she appreciated my honesty because “It’s nice to know that you’re not alone.”

Although it was short-lived, that was one of the best conversations I’ve had in awhile. It wasn’t what we talked about that made it good, but rather how we talked. We were open and honest with one another—we were REAL.

I don’t know how or when it became the norm to pretend like we have it all together. But the truth is, all that it takes to connect with someone is a little honesty and two simple words, “Me, too.”

My hope is that we could all be brave enough share about our struggles as moms—you never know when you might meet someone who feels the same way as you.

Blessings,

Elise

I love hearing from you, please feel free to leave me a comment below or to connect with me on social media.

The post “An Atypical Waiting Room Conversation” first appeared on Boys and Blessings.

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Motherhood & Parenting

Two Words We All Need to Hear

Has there ever been a time when you were caught off-guard because someone said something to you that spoke directly to your heart, and yet, you didn’t even know how much you needed to hear their words?

I had that experience this past week.

Several other moms and I gathered to listen to a seasoned mother speak about her experiences as she raised her (now grown) children. She shared that although motherhood is beautiful and rewarding, it is still SO hard. There are moments when we feel helpless, hopeless, overwhelmed, uncertain, lonely, and inadequate, amongst other things. We believe that no one could ever understand what we’re going through, so we carry on hiding our feelings and trying our best to keep it all together.

As she continued talking, I felt as though she was looking through a window directly into my weary soul. I could hardly believe that, thirty years ago, this seasoned mom struggled with some of the same “heart issues” that I’m facing today. Then she said two simple words that released all of the feelings I had been suppressing, “Me, too.” And as the burden on my heart lifted, the tears that had been welling up in my eyes began to overflow, cascading down my cheeks.

I cannot tell you how desperate I was to hear someone say those two words, to know that I wasn’t alone.

When I slowly lifted my gaze and glanced around the room, I was met with looks from other teary-eyed women who, like me, also needed to know that they aren’t alone.

And so, I’m sharing the same words with you today…

  • Does motherhood make you feel lonely sometimes? Me, too.
  • Do you ever feel like you’re not a good enough mom/wife? Me, too.
  • Have you ever felt like you had to hide something because you were worried about what others would think of you? Me, too.
  • Have you ever been in a situation where you felt hopeless, like there was no way out? Me, too.
  • Have there been times when you wish that your life looked different? Me, too.
  • Do you regret some of the choices you’ve made? Me, too.
  • Have you ever felt like no one could ever understand how you feel? Me, too.

Whatever you’re facing today, please be reassured that you are NOT alone; everybody struggles, but not everybody shares. Nobody has it all together. There is no such thing as a “perfect” mom or wife. All we can do is give our best, each and every day, no matter what that looks like.

We can also find hope in knowing that others before us have overcome some of the same challenges we’re facing today.

How did that seasoned mom get through it all? She was intentional about developing relationships with other moms and she found a close community of women to “do life” with. They were honest about their struggles, they encouraged each other and lifted one another up in prayer. And, most of all, she leaned on her faith in God.

“For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13 (NLT)

Do you believe we can make it though, together?  Me, too.

Blessings,

Elise

I love hearing from you. Please feel free to leave a comment below, or to connect with me on Facebook.

The post, Two Words, first appeared on the blog, Boys and Blessings.

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Encouragement

Six Months Later

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The landscape of my home was forever changed six months ago.

Since then, I’ve made several attempts to share what’s been on my heart. Each and every time I’ve been left with a blank computer screen, unable to express the storm raging within my soul. There may never come a day when I have the right words to say—watching loved ones suffer tremendous loss and seeing the destruction first-hand is indescribable. I still have moments when it’s tempting to dwell on the hurt, anger, and fear caused by the fire. However, I know that doing so would only cause further pain. Instead, I’ve been choosing to shift my focus to the many blessings that have (and are still to) come out of this situation.

In the past few months we have seen love pour out for our city from coast to coast. The compassion and generosity that’s been shown to our community has warmed my heart. From the people who drove up the highway with gas for stranded evacuees, to the record-breaking Red Cross donations, to the truckload of Christmas decorations that was sent up for those who lost their homes, the blessings keep pouring in. Thank you, Canada!

I have also seen my city unite like never before: a beautiful, resilient strength has arisen within the citizens of Fort McMurray. Tragedy tends to have a way of bringing people together and I imagine that May 3, 2016, will always be a shared, unspoken bond between us.

As we work together to rebuild, there may be days when we feel as though it’s hopeless, as though there is no end in sight.

When those days come, let these truths encourage your heart:

It will get better
You can do this
Just keep going
Cry if you have to
Accept help when you need it
And, most of all, hold onto your hope.

Like all of the chapters in life, this one too will come to an end.  And, rest assured, we will all be stronger for coming through it together, both as individuals and as a community.

Love and blessings,

Elise

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